Everyone in this class is to hand me an essay tomorrow explaining and apologising for the behaviour of the three boys who shamed this class by speaking and sniggering during the assembly today. I have already spoken to you once about this, this term. All of you are responsible: all of you should have stopped them. (Year 6 teacher)

An hour later, at home, a child is trying with teary eyes to think of something she can truthfully write. After hours of sobbing and seemingly endless discussion with her sister and parents in turn, she is more distraught and still feels hopeless.

How should we advise her?

Dear child, this is like the ‘Sorry Business’. You personally didn’t do anything, but some in your group did. To mend the breach, someone in the group who is able to see it must say sorry. Dear child, you can honestly say that you do not support and are sorry about the disrespectful behaviour, and you hope never again to disappoint.

Dear child, you can treat this as a creative (fiction) writing task. Imagine that the teacher is correct. Write what she might want to hear. When finished, you may (or may not) wish to write the corrections of fact into a conclusion or appendix, with a humble invitation to discuss the events further.

Dear child, the teacher you love, admire and trust has had a bad day and shot her mouth off. It is not about you; it is about how she felt at that moment. She is probably at home with a glass of wine, kicking herself right now. However, to resolve this gracefully, there has to be an exchange of tokens. You will hand her a piece of writing, she will accept it.

Dear child, you try so hard to be perfect. So does your teacher. Today she was not perfect. Be gentle, and give her an honourable way out of her trouble.

or,

Dear child, get over it and get working. You are taking your honour too seriously.

And,

Dear teacher, your task caused most distress to the most compliant students. Treating the class as a coherent group might serve to build the esprit de corps, but it makes the group hostage to the goodwill of the least cooperative members. If the class does not dissociate itself from the dissenters and impugn the fairness of your task, you must (in fairness) be ready to listen to their dissent… Perhaps this was not your intention?

Reference:

• Thomas C. Lovitt 1978, Managing Inappropriate Behaviors in the Classroom, Reston, VA: The Council for Exceptional Children, quoted online at http://www.ptaiagd.org/managing_inappropriate_behavior_.htm